Flip Flop Blowout got me into the "IN" crowd

I hope I dont step on anyones toes here. I love to people watch. It is a sign of getting older and I completely understand why you see 85 year old men watching people pass by as they sit on a chair in the mall. Tonight we went to Golden Corral. Rebecca and her father love it and I dont mind it at all. I was walking to get my food and my flip flop had a blow out. It was gone, and there wasn't any way to fix it. I figure I should just go barefoot. I mean why not, I would have fit in with everyone else. I was among the most backwards people I have ever seen. Mothers with their cracks showing as they were carrying their babies to the ice cream line. Little kids that weigh too much for their age eating only desert and the mullett crowd loving the dinner rolls. The cool guy with the duck tail eating off his plate in line - maybe he thought it would get cold before he got to his table. Anyway I just thought it funny sitting there and watching everyone doing their own thing.

West Texas

There is something amazing about living in West Texas. Maybe it's that the people still act out the Texas values that many of us were raised on, maybe it's the lack of traffic and the ease to get from point A to point B without any hassel or maybe it's the dry heat that feels really good on my balding noggin. I am not sure but it is really nice out here. I miss Dallas. I miss the nightlife and the ability to go see the cowboys or rangers play. We are taking a trip to galveston next week and being out here makes it an extra 5 or 6 hours but that is ok. I am sure that Mehkya will see about a thousand slug bugs on the way and i wont be able to use my arm for a week from her non stop pounding that I receive everytime she sees a slug bug. It's fun though! I am trying to keep my eyes on the road and drive friendly, she is searching for slug bugs with clinched fist ready to pounce on me. It's not too fair! THe other day I asked her to go clean her room and her response made me laugh.. She said "daddy are you asking me or telling me to clean my room? Cause if you are asking me then I have the right to say NO" I was shocked! Anyway back to West Texas. It is nice out here, things are falling into place for us but there is one thing I cannot stand...............................The wind never stops blowing! We bought a pool, the wind blows the cover off, We needed rain but it only comes with the wind. I water my yard and only one side gets wet because of the wind!! But it is all good. Wish that some family would come out and see where we are. I miss Big D but am loving West Texas

Suffering

It's been a while since I have written. i am still struggling through school. I am very excited about learning about the OT, but man it is really dry. I didn't do very well on my test (81) and I have a two papers due next week that I am putting off. I really hate writing. I have had a really tough few days with my thoughtlife. I feel that I am being haunted by my family's past. I dont know much about my father, but I do know that he was pretty lazy and didn't have much ambition. In my thoughts I am feeling the same way. I really want to do well in school, I want to hear God's voice and i want to be a great father, husband ect... But there seems to be something blocking me from being better. I blame it on not having a father figure when I was young and try to justify my laziness. I am struggling with being at one place in my life and then the next wanting to be somewhere else. It's kind of like the Fire Department job. It is all i know and all i feel that I can do, but at the same time I dont feel it is my call in life. I feel like I am going to go to work on July 14th and then retire on July 14th 2028. When do we realize that this is where and what we need to be doing? Am I suppose to be a fireman? Am I suppose to be in the Ministry? I dont know. I am really not faithful enough to be in the Ministry full time, and i am not motivated to be a firefighter all the time. I hate not knowing where I am or where I am suppose to be!